Hello There,

Nice meeting you.

73,672 notes

Mum:
Why is your room always so messy?
Me:
So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die.

136,264 notes

Girl:
I'm having heart surgery today.
Boy:
I know.
Girl:
I love you!
Boy:
I love you more!
*After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.*
Girl:
Where is he?
Dad:
Don't you know who gave you the heart?
Girl:
(Starts crying)
Dad:
Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.