73,672 notes May 6, 2012 Mum:Why is your room always so messy? Me:So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die.
136,264 notes May 6, 2012 Girl:I'm having heart surgery today. Boy:I know. Girl:I love you! Boy:I love you more! *After heart surgery her dad is the only person in the room.* Girl:Where is he? Dad:Don't you know who gave you the heart? Girl:(Starts crying) Dad:Im just kidding he went to the bathroom.
73,742 notes May 6, 2012 That awkward moment when the President is locked out of the White House. sodamnrelatable: (Source: , via iminovermy-head)